Good Canberra Month - Anzac Day

Upon reading a piece by Bad News Month opinion piece writer Ms Miranda "Doom & Gloom" Devine one would feel Canberra is a utopia we all dream of, and for me the Canberra she painted sounded like heaven,

Paragraph one, good news points:

1. Fastest growing town - that's a positive right
2. Highest wages - good thing number two
3. Near record job growth - another goal for another major cities to aim for
4. Soaring house prices - good for owners, not renters or first time buyers, bad point one.
5. Extravagant retail sales - good for the economy, good point 4.5 in one paragraph.

Point 4 above is good for some and not others hence 4.5 good points in the first paragraph. But she turns sour (as she commonly does) when she claims "Smug, entitled public servants live high on the hog".

So highly paid people doing services for the community are public enemy one? Maybe not love, News Corp (your employer) has fallen on some tough times recently but is this due to poor business decisions, investments in Presto (weakest link in the crowded Australian streaming industry), Channel Ten and Foxtel is on the way out despite positive results at the Logies this week.

Opinions like Miranda's are quick to point the finger at:

1. The ABC
2. Government employees
3. Single mothers
4. Muslims
5. Minority groups
6. The Greens, The Labor Party or any independent who will stick it to the gambling industry, care about the environment or equality for all.

Miranda's piece on Canberra ticked a few of the above News Corp standard attacks. Canberra in my mind sounds ace and despite my negativity aimed at Miranda and her employer, here is some good news from Canberra:

- According to Miranda, there is no traffic in Canberra - CHA-CHING!
- Average annual earnings above $89,000 (I think it's $89,000-$110,000 but there was a print error in my printed copy of the tabloid)
- People leave work at 5:30pm - SHOCK HORROR, hold the phone, oh wait a minute I'm going to call Alan Jones. People are not still at work until 9pm, people are going to the gym and walking their dogs, OMG is Canberra ground zero for the real life Walking Dead! HOLY FUCK BALLS!
- Soy lattes are a thing, and yes Miranda some people like me, if we drink regular milk we will make Kleenex toilet tissues shares rise by 10% in a day. Not everyone is lucky enough to drink diary products some people can only drink soy milk.

Ok another solid gold four points and then your bewildering last paragraph:

"To anyone else Canberans have it made, but somehow they're still miserable"

Oh Miranda, have you even been to Canberra recently? Last time I went was a few Australia Days ok, yes it's dull, it's no Sydney or Melbourne or even Brisbane at a stretch but it's clean and in my mind changing for the better.

No city is perfect, but the city you paint is a damn sight better than Sydney, and this is the four points I have time for on Anzac Day and a month it's meant to be all about the good:

1. Poor traffic conditions
2. Poor customer service
3. High house prices and rent
4. A closed down CBD

Read her piece as part of the Sydney Comedy Festival HERE. I have said it before but Miranda your comic timing and writing is sensational. Would you like to do a soy latte one time?