Readers of this BLOG will know I love comedy, Ronny Chieng, Amy Schumer, Joel Creasey & Judith Lucy so why do I crown the title of Comedian of the Year to a right wing Daily Telegraph columnist who loves a Liberal blue power suit?
Well her column yesterday defending once again the un-defendble (previous case defending Tony Abbott despite his clear incompetence) Reclaim Australia. Now don't get me wrong all these columnists Bolt, Devine and other News Limited employees love to bang on about free speech. Free Speech is one thing but inspiring hateful activity is clearly another. Now you can read the column here before reading on.
Titled who are the real bigots, FIRST laugh, you are darling Devine, you and Andrew Bolt are just vile and bigots is a tame word for you.
The laughs really do continue through the column, I will outline the highlights but really have you submitted this for the Sydney and Melbourne Comedy Festival yet?
Jacqui Lambie again cops it from Devine, and you know you have a point, this woman is interesting, one part of me feels for her and her drug addict son, another part of me thinks she is a female Christopher Pyne. She plays for whoever wins and clings to popular thoughts of the moment.
Once she was done and dusted, later Clive Palmer, hello independence. Now one can say she is outspoken however isn't that exactly what shock jocks like? Your paper would be nothing without statements from members in the public eye like Lambie. Shock Jocks, you also appear on 2GB the home of the Shock Jock - Alan Jones, Ray Hadley & Steve Price, these three men alone (along with Vile Kyle Sandilands) appear weekly or monthly for their latest outrageous statements, so basically is it not ok for a woman to say poorly researched, ill advised statements? Alan Jones received massive condemnation for saying Julia Gillards father died of shame and who could forget his involvement with the Cronulla riots.
Lambie is an interesting woman but don't put her name near Pauline Hanson, a known racist, bigot and media go to for vile remarks. Hanson deserves little to no respect, I protested about her statements and behaviour over 15 years ago, why on Earth is she still around? So Devine she DESERVES every bit of criticism that rains down on her, how dare you try and protect this evil, wicked Australian who has done NOTHING for the good of this country.
However the above said, this is a comedy piece right?
Now onto Reclaim Australia, a grass roots group just wanting to have their opinion heard. I actually fell off my chair:
Concerns about Islamism tried to find a voice on the weekend at rallies around the country held by Reclaim Australia, a grassroots group which says it comprises, “blue collar workers, white collar workers, mothers, fathers, grandfathers, grandmothers … We are not a racist hate group affiliated with any other group, nor Neo-Nazi or white supremacist. In fact it is the opposite. We are simply patriotic and love our country, our nation and the law”.
Blue Collar, darling, honey boo boo child the below looks like:
1. A Centrelink queue gone mad
2. Next years MKR, The Biggest Loser and the Block contenders
3. People I hope NEVER to see on the street
1. Exercise, release some endorphins, learn to see your own penis again. The man in red above I'm looking at you, when was the last time you saw your own penis? The 80's? Being healthy and having a healthy lifestyle allows you to be happy, meet new people and get out and enjoy this fine brown land. I have done a bootcamp for three years with people of all walks of life, all faiths, married/single/children/gay or straight even some Daily Telegraph readers.
2. Get off Social Media. Aside from blogging I have NEVER had a Facebook profile, twitter account or Instagram, I loathe Snapchat and continue not to understand under 25 year olds and their need for constant access to these social media sites. People waste hours a day looking at others and measuring themselves against their peers and celebrities. You run your own race, remember that, you don't need to compare to anyone else.
3. Be nice to others. So you live here, your white, your old (or young) and you have it good. We live in a mostly safe country (no bombs going off every five minutes), we have clean drinking water, magnificent beaches and outdoor sites. So what's the problem, are you healthy? Are you safe? Do you have a roof over your head and enough food for the next week? Well come to me when you are fighting a life threatening illness, you lose a family member, you want a child and can't have one. I'm bored of people with no major problems causing problems like these rallies.
4. Put your Sunday's to a good purpose. I for all purposes of this piece have no religious ties. I am not Christian, Muslim etc I sometimes go to a Buddhist Temple but that's it. If someone is Muslim so what? If someone is Christian big whoop as long as you don't door knock and throw this in other people faces you are a good person in my eyes. Leave religion out of it. Like politics no one cares, Tony Abbott was a woeful Prime Minister, let's flick our hair and move on, like he should do.
5. With your Sunday's STOP attending these rallies (both sides Reclaim and Anti Reclaim) it just gives the media more crap to show on their nightly bulletins. I hate the idea of Reclaim Australia, I hate the idea of UPF (United Patron Front) however I stay home and just dance. So dance, sing be merry - Shake Off this bullshit Taylor Swift style. It's unacceptable people are being brainwashed in this manner. It's the same as IS brainwashing these young teens.
So the above people in these photos you should be ashamed of yourselves, the world needs diversity, imagine how boring it would be if we were all like Miranda, the 2GB radio hosts and the folks attending these rallies. The real superstars in the world don't have time to attend these woeful rallies, so next time one of these events is on:
1. Read a book
2. See a film
3. Watch Jessica Jones on Netflix
4. Have a run or walk
5. Meet a friend for tea or coffee
6. Be around your family and loved ones
7. Clean your house
8. Get a massage
9. Ride a mountain bike or dirt bike
10. Go to the beach
11. See your favourite band or turn the radio up loud to your favourite band
If one of those 11 things can't keep you away from a rally, I have lost you already.
But back to Devine, your piece yesterday (and I hope it was a joke) really showed you are either:
a. Insane
b. A bloody good comedian and the Chaser boys should add you to their next project.
Looking forward to your next piece on your favourite topics:
1. Muslims (again stereotyping and using little facts and hearsay points to make your poorly made point)
2. The ABC, oh god the ABC they are so bias. And the Daily Telegraph, 2GB isn't?
3. People being mean to poor, poor, poor Tony Abbott. Poor Tony, let me buy another box of Klennex.
Anyway Devine, Merry Christmas and I hope someone gets you something really nice this year, I would love to see you smile and write more gold like yesterday.
Coffee one time?
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