Office Politics

Hello all,

Hope the Easter weekend is used to have a nice long break from work, howeer today I wanted to look into the workplace though for this week's BLOG entry on " Office Politics".

I was sent this dozy of an email the other day outlining some of the slight frustrations found in a modern workplace, maybe a slightly dysfunctional one at that.

Hi All
- (bad grammar where is the comma)

Just a friendly reminder to everyone of some general housekeeping things:
- The friendliness is over after this line , look out!

General Office Space
I know we have limited storage space, but could everyone please try to keep boxes etc lying around the office to a minimum and could I please ask that everyone have a "detox" of their desks and surrounding areas.
- Is there a safe injecting room in this office, that may help some people "detox"?

Kitchen
Could EVERYONE please make a greater effort in helping to keep the kitchen clean. I know we have a roster to assist with this, but if everyone did their bit and cleaned-up after themselves it would be a much easier job for all.
- CAPS equals yelling in emails and creates anger, well negative way to get people to co-operate.

Fridge
Please be mindful that the fridge is there for everyone to use. Please do not fill the fridge with plastic bags and bulky items.
- In other words your fat slobs stop eating or you'll all end up in the Biggest Loser, crying, on the scales, being offered $50,000 to stay fat or humiliated in some other way or another.

There will be a clean out of the fridge tomorrow afternoon. Please remove anything you want to keep and take it home with you. Don't panic - butter etc will not be thrown out, but anything left in the fridge that is not labelled, out of date or wrapped in a million plastic bags will be.
- One million plastic bags, one million plastic bags, I don't think Sydney city uses a million shopping bags in all the shopping centre's combined. I am desperate to see this plastic fridge, it sounds like an environmental disaster!

Also, I hate to have to say this, but please DO NOT EAT OTHER PEOPLE'S FOOD!
- Another Biggest Loser reference, maybe closed circuit security camera's should be put into this high security one million plastic bag fridge. Yelling again, may create angry or send people to eat MORE!!!!

Boardroom / Training Room
To avoid confusion and embarrassment in some cases, please ensure that you book a meeting room when required. In the last few weeks, there has been a lot of movement in the office with external people coming and going. It is particularly embarrassing when we have nowhere to put them. Please also remember to tidy up the meeting rooms after use.
- Are people getting caught rooting in this training room? That would cause embarrassment and possible confusion for virgins not used to this form of training. So in short, book a root and take your used condoms with you, THANK U!

Please take note of the above and make a little extra effort.
- Note taken, whoever sent this is a Nazi

Thanks in advance for your co-operation.
- Go root a dog


There we go office politics, it's all about eating, rooting in meeting rooms and writing in caps to get the point across.

I wonder whether any productive work gets done in this office or whether people just eat, root and yell?

Sounds like my type of office, I'll have the meeting room with the ONE MILLION PLASTIC BAG FRIDGE all day next Tuesday for my Easter long weekend "detox".

Cheers,

Andrew