Monday, April 28, 2008

Music Update

Well it has been a strong week in releases for the pop and hip hop music lovers out there, Madonna's new disc dropped 12 dope new cuts with production credits listing Justin Timberlake and Pharrell "So Hot Right Now" Williams and Bliss N Emo's new disc "Flying Colours (actual band title Bliss N Eso).

Madonna's new album is a real different effort from her and a step in the right direction in my mind. Tracks featured include the terrific first single "4 Minutes" produced by Timbaland (man of the moment and rumoured to tour later this year) and "The Beat Goes On" featuring Kanye West.

It's an all star line up and an album for Madonna to be proud of, let's just hope she tours it down here. Overall this album could be the best pop release for the year, hell she shits on Kylie's woeful last album "X", now in the bargain bin at most record stores or currently being used as road fill outside the renovated Rooty Hill RSL.

Bliss N Eso's (or Bliss N Elmo's) new disc "Flying Colours" is the most elaborate packaging for a CD I have ever seen. They're record label must hate them for this. It's a hot gold cardboard two piece work or art, literally. The album ain't half bad either featuring favourites like "Bullet & a Target", "Woodstock 2008", "Eye of the Storm" & "Happy in my Hoody". These guys sample everything from Angus & Julia Stone and drop some simply dope ass lyrics.

This is an Aussie Hip Hop album to be proud of along with the fab new Chasm disc "Beyond the Beat Tape".

Lot's of decent releases are slowly coming out and here is my must haves right now:

Cut Copy - In Ghost Colours (FARAWAY - Highlight tack)
The Presets - Apocalypso (TALK LIKE THAT - Highlight track)
Duffy - Rockferry (WARWICK AVENUE - Highlight Track)
Bliss N Eso - Flying Colours (EYE OF THE STORM - Highlight track)
Madonna - Hard Candy (CANDY SHOP/4 MINUTES/THE BEAT GOES ON - Highlight tracks)

More music reviews soon as will there be a review of Guys and Dolls in Mel-Boring this coming weekend. A belated happy Anzac day all my diggas out there!

Film Freak: Prom Night

Now can I just say this movie gets a huge WELL DONE for not creating gory death scenes, what is it with today's horror movies all being about gore and not the jump (4 my love) factor. Sorry about the disco reference but I just couldn't help myself.

This is another remake of an early Jamie Lee Curtis film and stars some very B Grade actors alongside the sexy Jonathon Schaech (don't know who he is, Google him, NOW!).

Jonathon's character is the deranged serial killer who in my mind is way too good looking to be scary, I mean if I was alone in a room with him, well let's stop there.

This film does have more jump scenes than Jumper (see previous review, in brief - CRAP!), believable villain movements (he doesn't run faster than Cathy Freeman or swim faster than those zany new swim suits) and the plot is believable.

Overall a decent teen slasher flick 3 stars.

Film Freak: Gone Baby Gone

Well who ever thought Ben Affleck could direct a gripping and highly intense film.

This film has a major Affleck connection with Casey Affleck as the main role as a private investigator Kenzie partner with his sassy girlfriend played by Michelle Monaghan.

This film is gritty, real, heartbreaking and at times so intense you have to turn away.

Casy Affleck will definitely be up for an Oscar as will Ben for this effort. Maybe he is better suited behind the camera instead of the following examples:

Clerks 2
Saving Christmas
Gigli

And the list goes on...

This is one quality film and definitely one of the films of the year, Gone Baby Gone rates a big four and a half stars.

DVD Series Review: Skins Series One

Originally aired on SBS, this series is a look into the teenagers of today and their drug use, drinking habits, sexual adventures and more.

This series deserves every inch of it's R rating and makes me very scared to see what the younger generation is getting up.

Each episode is based on one characters story which has it's pros and cons, some characters are extremely interesting and others you just want to slap!

Overall this show is successful in doing something a little different and showing the youth of today as wild as young Corey in Australia's suburbs, the almost documentary take on exploring the characters lives is also nice.

Looking forward to seeing which direction it is headed for in series two, Skins is worth giving it a shoot, 3 stars.

Film Freak: Deception

Well here is the basic plot from the lovely Wikipedia:

An accountant (Ewan McGregor) is introduced to a mysterious sex club known as The List by his lawyer friend (Hugh Jackman). But in this new world, he soon becomes the prime suspect in a woman's disappearance and a multi-million dollar heist.

Sound interesting? Well it is however the plot kinda loses it towards the end and all the twists and turns are a little far fetched.

Hugh Jackman plays a great character stealing identities and banging Michelle Williams (she really loves the Aussie boys doesn't she!) and Ewan McGregor is convincing as a total NERD!

Overall this film delivers a lot of twists, turns, explosions and powerful people doing dirty things, Deception rates 3 and a half sex stars.

Thursday, April 24, 2008

It's Another BLOG!!

Well I have a few friends who are getting hitched and one of them has an amazing blog, check it out:

www.bride.com.au

Good on ya Auntie Ez, very proud of the words and pictures up there!

Quick tour news, Sydney's the Herd tour tickets go on sale today at 9am! They are playing Sydney's best new venue, The Factory Theatre in Enmore, get tickets and sing along to such anthems as "77%", "Scallops" and the new single "The King is Dead" (referring to John Howard finally being evicted from Parliament House).

Chookers,

Andrew

Sunday, April 20, 2008

Film Freak: Forgetting Sarah Marshall

Another film from the guys who brought you "Knocked Up" and "40 Year old Virgin", both of which were surprise hits.

Let's face it most American comedies are lame as all hell and leave you feeling like your been raped from the rear.

This film had the right ingredients for another hit, however it's length and almost overly embarrassing scenes made it almost had to watch at times.

Paul Rudd proved however he is only getting better with age.

Overall this film basically was an emo mid 20's man who really needed to grow some balls (or in some parts of the film, stop showing them) and get on with it no ho is worth mopping around for weeks for y'all.

"Forgetting Sarah Marshall" rates one and half stars for a lack of originality and tired gags from previous films of the same nature.

My Top 5

Hey hey it's been a little while since my last top 5 but here we go:

1. The Presets - Talk Like That
2. Duffy - Warwick Avenue (She sounds like 60's soul and so so sweet!)
3. Chasm - Let the Beat Go feat. Diafrix (Aussie Hip Hop's new star!)
4. Gnarls Barkley - Going On (Definitely not one album wonders!)
5. Vampire Weekend - Oxford Comma

Reviews to come:

Guys & Dolls, Melbourne
Forgetting Sarah Marshall (film)
& many more RANDOM events!

Sydney Symphony & Kurt Eling

Saturday 19th April 2008 - Concert Hall, SOH

Well I had only been to the Opera house a little while ago to see the ACO and I'm back for another dose of classical music, this time mixed with a Jazz vocalist that makes Michael Bubble look even more like a dodgy karaoke singer.

His three piece jazz band was right on not, and speaking of note any artists signed to the highly regarded record label Blue Note is a true champion in my mind.

The concert was received extremely well and the only think I disliked was the encore, why why why are encores just a part of a show, if it doesn't fit in the allocated time for the main set, leave it out!

Overall the massive Sydney Symphony blended very well with this amazing three piece (sometimes four piece) jazz band, a great night out at the lovely iconic Opera House!

Let's do the timewarp again

Rocky Horror Star Theatre, TAKE TWO

Well last time I saw this I was not overly impressed, however I have only heard good things since the previews ended.

I went in with little expectations and meet some of the cast walking throughout the audience before the show started, in full custom and role playing their Rocky Horror parts.

The whole show was then fairly flawless, Iota again was simply amazing and just a vocal delight to hear, Sharon Millerchip was simply amazing as Columbia is simply amazing as is Kellie Rode as Janet.

A much better performance and I really think this show has the ingredients to succeed.

Rocky Horror Show rates 4 stars

One more Joke for the week

THE BEST "DEAR JOHN" LETTER EVER

A young girl on a years training course in South Africa recently received a"Dear John" letter from her boyfriend back home.

It read as follows:

Dear Mary,I can no longer continue our relationship. The distance between us is just too great.

I must admit I have cheated on you twice since you've been goneand it's not fair to either of us. I'm sorry. Please return the pictureof me I sent to you.

Love, John

Mary, with hurt feelings,asked her colleagues for any snapshots they couldspare of their boyfriends, brothers, ex-boyfriends, uncles, cousins, etc.In addition to the picture of John, Mary included all the other pictures ofthe handsome men she had collected from her buddies.There were 57 photos in that envelope . . . . along with this note:

Dear John,I'm so sorry, but I can't quite remember who the f**k you are. Please take your picture from the pile and send the rest back to me.

Take care,
Mary

FILM FREAK: How She Move

This film almost doesn’t deserve a review, yes it’s that bad!

Acting – 0 stars
Choreography – Uninspiring, dull and to very ordinary music
Storyline/Plot – 0 stars
Hot factor – 0

Overall this is the worst film of 2008, I shouldn’t have expected much it was made by MTV (think Newlyweds etc), don’t even wait till TV, this is 2 hours of my life I will never get back.

Pnau - Are Wild Strawberries!

Pnau

What can I say it’s Friday night, the Enmore Theatre is almost SOLD out and the place is pumping, it can only mean one thing, Pnau is set tom play and go completely off.

The crowd responded extremely well to every track they played from their third self titled CD.

“Baby”, “Wild Strawberries” and “Embrace” all being highlights!

I felt rather old in this “all ages” crowd of young, hip and very cool kids, but hey it’s better than being around about of old farts at a Matchbox 20 gig!

The boys also tested the waters with some new songs which all went over very well.

Keen to see what is next for the two extremely talented boys from Pnau!

Pnau “We Are Back” gig rates four and a half stars

Joke O Da Day

FAIRY TALE!Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl 'Will you marry me?' The girl said:'NO!'

And the girl lived happily ever-after and went shopping, dancing, camping, drank martinis, always had a clean house, never had to cook, did whatever the hell she wanted, never argued, didn't get fat, travelled more, had many lovers, didn't save money, and had all the hot water to herself.
She went to the theatre, never watched sports, never wore friggin' lacy lingerie that went up her ass, had high self esteem, never cried or yelled, felt and looked fabulous in sweat pants and was pleasant all the time.
The End

Joke of the week

How to Make a Woman Happy It's not difficult to make a woman happy. A man only needs to be:
1. a friend
2. a companion
3. a lover
4. a brother
5. a father
6. a master
7. a chef
8. an electrician
9. a carpenter
10. a plumber
11. a mechanic
12. a decorator
13. a stylist
14. a sexologist
15. a gynecologist
16. a psychologist
17. a pest exterminator
18. a psychiatrist
19. a healer
20. a good listener
21. an organizer
22. a good father
23. very clean
24. sympathetic
25. athletic
26. warm
27. attentive
28. gallant
29. intelligent
30. funny
31. creative
32. tender
33. strong
34. understanding
35. tolerant
36. prudent
37. ambitious
38. capable
39. courageous
40. determined
41. true
42. dependable
43. passionate
44. compassionate
WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:
45. give her compliments regularly
46. love shopping
47. be honest
48. be very rich
49. not stress her out
50. not look at other girls
AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:
51. give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself
52. give her lots of time, especially time for herself
53. give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes
IT IS VERY IMPORTANT:
54. Never to forget: * birthdays* anniversaries* arrangements she makes

HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY
1. Show up naked
2. Bring food

Tips for Nick D'arcy and the remaining Australian Olympic Team

Prepare now for the Beijing Olympics.
Learn Chinese in 5 minutes (You MUST read them aloud)
English - Chinese That's not right!
Sum Ting Wong Are you harbouring a fugitive?
Hu Yu Hai Ding See me ASAP
Kum Hia Nao Stupid Man
Dum Fuk Small Horse
Tai Ni Po Ni Did you go to the beach?
Wai Yu So Tan I bumped into a coffee table!
Ai Bang Mai Fu Kin Ni I think you need a face lift!
Chin Tu Fat It's very dark in here!
Wai So Dim I thought you were on a diet!
Wai Yu Mun Ching This is a tow away zone!
No Pah King Our meeting is scheduled for next week!
Wai Yu Kum Nao Staying out of sight
Lei Ying Lo He's cleaning his automobile
Wa Shing Ka Your body odour is offensive
Yu Stin Ki Pu
Great Fa Kin Su Pa

Picture of da week


Sunday, April 6, 2008

More Music

Well another week and more new music than you can poke a stick out, here is my guide to the essential latest releases.

Bliss N Eso are about to release a stellar new Aussie Hip Hop number featuring some songs you may already know "Bullet & a Target" & "Woodstock 2008". This album promises to bring these locals into the spotlight.

The Preset's releases their second disc "Apocalypso" which promises to be one of the years hottest albums featuring "My People" (it's actually about refugees) and the big smash "This Boys in Love". This is going to be flippin' huge!

Gnarls Barkley's second album is a hit and miss affair with the stand out track from "The Odd Couple" is definitely such as "Going On".

Madonna's "Hard Candy" is already promising to be the pop CD of the year with the very promising "4 Minutes" jam featuring Justin, Timbaland a million other people behind the scenes.

Pnau are set to release a tour edition of their simply terrific self titled release. This is their third album and their best work to date after the patchy "Again" disc from a few years back. Highlights from the disc include "With You Forever", "Baby" and "No More Violence". Check it out!

Also check out a review of their sold out, record breaking Enmore Theatre gig shortly.

As I have been doing for the last few week's please see my top five tracks of the week below (a little bias this week after Roisin's AMAZING 5 star gig):

1. Roisin Murphy - Primitive
2. Roisn Murphy - Cry Baby
3. Goldfrapp - Happiness
4. Missy Elliot - Shake Your Pom Pom/Ching-a-Ling
5. Roisin Murphy - Overpowered

Whoops I sure love the chicks this week.

NIDA Production - Love for Love

A William Congreve Dir. Adam Cook play set in the swinging 60's done by the 3rd year NIDA students.

Well okay, Sweet Charity last year (much different show) however amazing this, totally uninspiring and I think the boys from last year's NIDA were a lot sexier.

Let's hope their productions get a little more exciting as the year goes on.

Film Freak: Step Up 2 The Streets (TAKE 2)

Hey Hey, I never usually feel the need to see a film twice at the movies, but this one definitely needed a second sitting.

The music again is a MAJOR part of this film, the use of Missy Elliot, Ludacris and some new comers who could use this as a major step up (excuse the pun).

The dancing is first rate, unfortunately with "So You Think You Can Dance" on now this really shows the show up a little, with first rate choreography and amazing routines which needed to be seen twice to see how much work has gone into this.

The use of the female leads hip hop fab caps show that the cap is coming back in and especially with the girls.

The out fits and use of their out fits (sometimes to create an awesome visual) really works.

After sitting through this the second time, I figured out the story line and acting is really in the background, what is in the foreground is some amazing dancing and crankin' tunes.

So for a second time around, this film for it's visual effects and for no other reason rates 5 stars.

Thursday, April 3, 2008

Overpowered by ROISIN MURPHY

Well it is a year for the female vocalists, we have new releases from Madonna, Ms Kasey Chambers, Alanis Morissette & Erykah Badu all on the way.

But this diva deserves more media attention than the current Celine shows (Just fuck off back to Vega already you tired old tranny).

Roisin opened her set with the terrific "Cry Baby", a hard beat with her driving vocals this proved to be a HUGE crowd smash!

She belted out tracks from her amazing 2nd solo release "Overpowered", "You Know Me Better", "Sow Into You", "Dear Miami", "Let Me Know" and the title track to her latest disc went off!

The set went just over midnight and nearly every party child, queen and disco diva was completely satisfied with the sweet electronic sounds from the new queen of cool electro dance Roisin Murphy.

This will be one concert I will not forgot easily, and nor will the rest of the few hundred packed out Metro Theatre.

An amazing night and a HUGE shout out to check out her latest CD "Overpowered"!

Film Freak: The Painted Veil

Another film with two huge leads, Ed Norton and Australia's own Naomi Watts.

This film was made all the way back in 2006, think the year Amy Winehouse's CD "Back to Black" was released. It has taken a while to get to Australia and unfortunately I don't think it was worth the wait.

Edward Norton is terrific but plays a highly unlikable character as does his wife in the film Naomi Watts.

This film could be great, heart breaking and so much more than it appears now in 2008.

Naomi Watts by the end just annoys the FLIP out of you and you can't wait to vacate the cinema.

Maybe one for the TV Sunday night movie, at the least the scenery (filmed in China) is spectacular.

The Painted Veil rates One and a half stars.

Film Freak: Before the Devil Knows You're Dead

Well not for the faint hearted is my first point for this film.

This film stars Ethan Hawke and Phillip Seymour Hoffman as two brothers who do one very bad thing leading to a "Vantage Point" style film.

The film jumps from one place to another however with some extremely shocking scenes you need to go from one thing the next quiet quickly.

This film would really only appeal to 10% of the population and I think I just fall outside that 10% but still enjoyed the film to a degree.

After seeing "Vantage Point" recently the development and story being told from various different angels was nothing groundbreaking and all that exciting a second time round.

Ethan Hawke and Phillip Seymour Hoffman are terrific, if your up for an upfront, in your face two hours, head off to see "Before the Devil Knows You're Dead", it rates 2 and a half stars.

Blonde Joke of the Month

BLONDES,

WHAT WOULD WE DO WITHOUT YOU? (Thank God gave us redheads as a backup....) Two blondes with hammers, Carol and Donna, were doing some carpenter work on a Habitat for Humanity house. Carol, who was nailing down house siding, would reach into her nail pouch, pull out a nail, and either toss it over her shoulder or nail it in.Donna, figuring this was worth looking into, asked, "Why are you throwing those nails away?"Carol explained, "When I pull a nail out of my pouch, about half of them have the head on the wrong end, and I throw them away."Donna got completely upset and yelled, "You moron! Those nails aren't defective! They're for the other side of the house."

==========================================

A blonde hurried into the emergency room late one night with the tip of her index finger shot off."How did this happen?" the emergency room doctor asked her."Well, I was trying to commit suicide," the blonde replied."What?" sputtered the doctor. "You tried to commit suicide by shooting off your finger?""No, Silly," the blonde said, "first I put the gun to my chest, and then I thought, I just paid $6,000.00 for these implants. I'm not shooting myself in the chest.""So then?" asked the doctor."Then I put the gun in my mouth, and I thought, "I just paid $3,000.00 to get my teeth straightened. I'm not shooting myself in the mouth.""So then?" asked the doctor.Then I put the gun to my ear, and I thought: "This is going to make a loud noise. So I put my finger in my other ear before I pulled the trigger."

===========================================

A blonde was driving home after a game, and got caught in a really bad hailstorm. Her car was covered with dents, so the next day she took it to a repair shop. The shop owner saw that she was a blonde, so he decided to have some fun. He told her to go home and blow into the tailpipe really hard, and all the dents would pop out.So the blonde went home, got down on her hands and knees, and started blowing into her tailpipe. Nothing happened. So she blew a little harder, and still nothing happened.Her blonde roommate saw her, and asked, "What are you doing?"The first blonde told her how the repairman had instructed her to blow into the tail pipe in order to get all the dents to pop out. The roommate rolled her eyes and said, "Uh, like hello! You need to roll up the windows first."

==========================================

Did you hear about the two blondes who froze to death in a drive-in movie?They had gone to see 'Closed for the winter'.

==========================================

AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST:A blonde goes into work one morning crying her eyes out. Her boss asked sympathetically, "What's the matter?"The blonde replies, "Early this morning I got a phone call saying that my mother had passed away."The boss, feeling sorry for her, says, "Why don't you go home for the day? Take the day off to relax and rest.""Thanks, but I'd be better off here. I need to keep my mind off it, and I have the best chance of doing that here."The boss agrees and allows the blonde to work as usual. A couple of hours pass, and the boss decides to check on the blonde. He looks out from his office, and sees the blonde crying hysterically. "What's so bad now? Are you going to be okay?" he asks."No," exclaims the blonde, "I just received a horrible call from my sister. Her mother died, too!"

Joke O Da Day

My boyfriend, not happy with my mood swings, bought me a mood ring the other day so he would be able to monitor my moods.

When I'm in a good mood it turns green.

When I'm in a bad mood it leaves a big fucking red mark on his forehead!!!!

Maybe next time he'll buy me a diamond !!!!

Thanks again Miss Donna Louise!