Monday, November 19, 2012

@ the Movies 2012 - Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 2


Oh dear it's finally come to a close and in a way it all couldn't end quick enough.  The first movie was an abortion gone haywire, the second was a vast improvement, the third was a none event and the last movie spilt in two was almost as much of a cash grab as Taken 2.  So the whores of Hollywood combined to make this conclusion to one of the worst/best saga's of recent times.

The main thing to have watched during the length of this overly long saga was Jacob, the dreamy (in the later films) Taylor Lautner.  So let's look at a photo essay of his Twilight days:

1.  Twilight, long haired thug:


2. New Moon, Taylor got naked (well PG13 naked):



3. Eclipse, naked (PG13) in the cold, shrinkage much?



4. The slightly lame drawn out Breaking Dawn Part One:



5. In the final this shirtless scene made the entire cinema crack up, not sure if it was meant to get that reaction:



There we have it, a few girls would have just lost their shit, a few boys may have creamed their jeans and now for the rest of the cast:

Kristen Stewart - Still a sour young C*^T

Robert Pattinson - Still pale and fucking ugly as, next to Taylor he looks like a corpse that has been six feet under for years then chucked in a microwave had piles of foundation launched onto him and then put in front of a camera.  The light from the camera would be the most sun he has seen in 15 years.

Dakota Fanning - Why did you sign on for these films, your better than this?

Anyway it's done dusted and 4 & 1/2 films later the vampires are well rested and the whole story wraps up Hollywood style.  This is exactly why "End of Watch" was such a refreshing film, this movie was just average and I have decided 2013 I am the enemy of average and I'm gonna call average out wherever I can.

So that said, Twilight the finale rates a fair 2 stars, it does suck but it has it's moments (mainly when Taylor gets his guns out), it's the end of an era.

Bye Twilight, it's been real, NOT!

PS - Thank god for True Blood

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